In a Million Ways – by Gillian Atacocugu

As October is national abuse awareness month, Gill Atacocugu collaborated with local vocalist Gussie Stafford to create a song which highlights emotional abuse.

You can see the film of the song here:

Emotional or psychological abuse, like physical abuse is now illegal in the U.K. However, some people are still unclear about the traits an emotional abuser may display towards his or her partner. Here are just a few of the signs:

 

Being humiliating or embarrassing.

Constant put-downs or making fun.

Refusing to communicate / ignoring or excluding their partner.

Extramarital affairs.

Use of sarcasm and/or an unpleasant tone of voice.

Unreasonable jealousy.

Extreme moodiness.

Saying “I love you” but acting like he/she doesn’t.

Issuing ultimatums.

Withdrawing affection at times.

Isolation from family/friends.

Using money as a form of control

Casting blame and being resentful.

 

Those that engage in emotional abuse are expert manipulators and are so skilled at this that they often make the victim feel like things are his or her fault. Manipulators take pleasure in playing on people’s insecurities and vulnerabilities. Thus the aim of this song is to highlight such behaviour and to encourage those who feel they are being emotionally abused to seek help. It is a sad fact that a person who is emotionally abusive rarely changes and therefore, the relationship tends to go from bad to worse.

In Ipswich there is a charitable organisation for females called ‘Lighthouse’ who have endorsed the lyrics of this song to make people aware that any form of abuse in a relationship is wrong. Unfortunately, we do not have such an organisation in Felixstowe at present, nor does there seem to be a group to help males who are encountering emotional abuse. However, individuals that are victims of abuse can contact the police and may also seek advice from The Citizens Advice Bureau. ‘Lighthouse’ will give advice and help to females who are victims of abuse and of course will treat each case confidentially. Lighthouse’s Tel. is 01473 228 270.

 

The Song: In A Million Ways

(The Lyrics)

 

When you find a lover, you hope life will be kind,

Sharing things together, with total peace of mind,

The times you have are special; your heart is filled with joy,

Then suddenly things alter, as you become his toy.

 

Playing with your feelings, playing with your mind,

He says you’re going crazy, disgrace to womankind,

He tells his friends, excuse her, she’s not herself these days,

She’s failing as a lover, in a million ways.

 

Slowly he suggests that, you maybe cannot cope,

The chores around the home, well, there really is no hope.

Motherhood is questioned; you can’t raise your kids like that.

You’re not as good as the others, you’re demented and you’re fat.

 

Playing with your feelings, playing with your mind,

He says you’re going crazy, disgrace to womankind,

He tells his friends, excuse her, she’s not herself these days,

She’s failing as a mother, in a million different ways.

 

And the struggle it continues, you cry yourself to sleep,

Frightened and demented, his words they cut so deep,

You question every sentence, that parts from acid lips,

You’ve hit rock bottom, enduring all his quips.

 

Playing with your feelings, playing with your mind,

He says you’re going crazy, disgrace to womankind.

He tells his friends, excuse her, she’s not herself these days,

She’s failing as a human, in a million ways.

 

Playing with your feelings, playing with your mind,

He says you’re going crazy, disgrace to womankind,

He tells his friends, excuse her, she’s not herself these days.

Girl, this is his failing, in a million ways.

 

Copyrighted Lyrics: G. Atacocugu. Musical Arrangement & Vocals: G. Stafford. (2016)

Film by Luke Smout from Felixstowe TV.News.

 

 

 

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